Recipe for a Happy Marriage

Matthew 19:4 “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,”

We often make marriage more difficult than what it should be. God intended for marriage to be a blessed and happy institution, but the complexities that many add to their marriage is what causes the dysfunction and dissatisfaction. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus gives a simple recipe that if followed will result in a happily married couple. Let me share the seven ingredients that result in a happy marriage.

First, learn the difference between men and women. God created humans as male and female, and until you learn the difference between the two, you will continue to struggle in your marriage. Let me add to this point that marriage is ONLY between a man and a woman. However, men and women are different physically, mentally and emotionally. Your marriage will continue to struggle until you learn this difference.

Second, live in your gender role. One of the causes of marital strife is that one person is not doing what they are supposed to be doing. For instance, the husband is to be the leader of the home, and the wife is to be the help meet for her husband. Men if you won’t lead in the home, and ladies, if you won’t be the help meet, you will find your marriage will continue to exist with conflict.

Third, let your spouse live in their gender role. Let me encourage you to stop trying to make your spouse like you. They are not going to be like you, and you must accept this if you are going to enjoy marital bliss. A lady doesn’t think like a man, and a man doesn’t think like a lady; therefore, you must let them be who God intended for them to be if you want to enjoy your spouse the way God wanted you to enjoy them. Allowing the difference of genders in the marriage is what helps the family to be what it is supposed to be.

Fourth, keep your parents out of your marriage. One of the greatest mistakes in a marriage is when one spouse continually brings their parents into the marriage. Let me remind you that you left your parents for your spouse, and the more you try to bring your parents into your marriage, the more strife you will experience. I’m not saying that you can’t enjoy fellowship with your parents, but I am saying that you can’t let your parents meddle in your marriage.

Fifth, accept your in-laws; you married their child. Don’t make the mistake of criticizing your in-laws or always having an excuse for why you don’t want them around. Both sets of parents should be equally accepted. You will cause much strife in your marriage if you don’t accept your in-laws in the same manner that you accept your parents.

Sixth, be one in all that you do. A couple in a marriage are to be one flesh. You cannot both be going your separate ways and be one flesh. However, someone has to be in charge. You must be one in decisions and parenting for your marriage to be happy; however, the husband must be the final decision maker.

Seventh, work out your differences. God commands that man is not to “put asunder” what God hath “joined together.” Divorce can never be an option if your marriage is going to work, but the option is to work out your differences in a scriptural manner. If you must, get help from your pastor to work out your differences, but never settle for divorce.

Dr. Allen Domelle

Maranatha Baptist Church | Bethany, OK