Ephesian 5:22 & 25 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord…. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

I believe this is the foundational text for the husband and wife relationship and the fertile soil needed to produce the fruit of a happy and enduring home. Here we see the key thought that every wife and husband needs to wake up to every morning and walk with every day. The first of these two thoughts is to the wife. Verse 22 tells wives to reverence their husbands “as unto the Lord” or respect your husband in the same manner as you would Christ. Simply put, ladies, treat your husband as you would treat Christ if he was in your home. Without argue, every Christian would agree that the church is the bride of Christ and therefore we are subject to His authority and should live our lives to please Him. The church follows Christ’s lead. We build on His design, and strive to carry out His plan; in the same way the wife builds on the foundation laid by the husband, fly or fail; it is the husband’s responsibility. Ladies, every thought, action, word and deed toward your husband should be covered in this thought; “I am about to do this or say this to Christ.”Keeping this in mind will certainly alter our behavior. ‘

The second thought here is to the husband. Verse 25 tells the men to love and treat their wife “as Christ loves the church” or in the same manner that Christ loves His children. Husbands should love their wives with a love that is equal to Christ’s love. Think for a moment about how Christ loves you. His love is sacrificial, unending, providing, compassionate and tender, thoughtful and generous. Christ’s love is so great that a world of dictionaries could not provide enough words to do it proper justice. Men, you are to love your wife in such a way that she feels as if it is Christ himself loving her. Keep this in mind the next time you talk to her or commence to criticize her; ask yourself, “Is this how Christ would love me at this moment?” Your love should deepen her walk with Christ. Most importantly, your love should model Christ’s love for His bride, the Church; a love that provided the Cross of Calvary .

Solomon talks about an incredibly strong love that could not be extinguished by waters or floods He said; “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it…Song of Solomon 8:7″ No doubt this is what everyone looks for in a relationship, but this kind of love will not happen on accident, it is the product of intent. If you follow God’s plan for your life, this love will not be far away.

Here are some things husbands and wives can do to enhance their relationship:

  1. Pray daily for your spouse by name and for their individual spiritual needs.
  2. Seek daily to encourage your spouse in their weak areas.
  3. Never push “The Button” that you know will cause problems. Avoid that area at all cost; realizing that everyone has pet peeves. Be sensitive and accommodate your spouse.
  4. When tensions get high, someone needs to be the spiritual one and refuse to say those hurtful words.
  5. Never argue or belittle one another in front of children or others. This only intensifies the hurt and prolongs the healing process.
  6. Encourage one another and show love by writing notes, emails and text messages to each other on regular basis.
  7. Listen to your spouse when they speak. Don’t just hear their words, planning your next statement; but take into thought the message of their heart they are communicating to you.
  8. Compliment each other often. Focusing on your spouse’s positive traits will cause you to see less of their.
  9. Be sensitive to the needs of your spouse. Each day brings new stresses and obstacles. Be helpful in these times and avoid an argument later.
  10. Give your spouse gifts that say I love you. These do not have to be expensive or store bought, just thoughtful and in love


Pastor Jason Myers

Victory Baptist Church

Hanover, PA