Proverbs 31:12 “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
We’ve already seen what this lady has earned in confidence and respect from her husband. Now we see more about her actions and attitudes toward him.
Verse 12, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” This is her intention and goal, her decision making criteria, and her life work to do him good and not evil. A biblical definition of love would be, “doing what is best for the object of my love, regardless of personal expense.” This is demonstrated in Gods love for us: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Real love is not just an emotion, but an action. Real love is self sacrificing, giving, caring, doing, always thinking of others first. This kind of love is expressed and described in great detail in the life of a virtuous woman. Her entire purpose in life was to do what was best for her husband and to to be what he needed.
This kind of expression of her love was not just an occasional burst of emotion, or only in response to his care and thoughtfulness. This was a constant factor all the days of her life. For me to incorporate that ideal means that ill do whats best best for my husband when I’m happy, and when I’m unhappy, whether I’m having a good day or not-so-good, whether my husband is treating me as i want to be treated or not. Her loving faithfulness and goodness toward him, his needs and his desires was unfailing. We’re talking about a tall order here!
Dr. Jack Hyles made this statement in preaching about priorities. “A person needs to set their priorities in line with their purpose. God made man to fellowship with him and to serve him. A man’s priorities ought to line up with Gods purpose for his life. God made woman for man, so her priorities in life ought to line up with central purpose. If man had not had a need, woman would not have been created.”
“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” ( 1 Cor 11:8-9) He went on to say, “The reason that God created a woman was because, without her, a man couldn’t even find his underwear…. and if you don’t believe that, just check out the way he was dressed!”
A man’s responsibility and purpose is to obey God and serve Him. Part of that service to God is in being a loving husband and father, as Ephesians 5 clearly states. His family responsibilities are encompassed in his whole purpose of pleasing God. Yet the woman’s primary purpose in life is to be a help-meet to her husband. That is the main capacity in which she is to please and serve God, and everything else she does for the Lord is viewed from that perspective.
I am an important part of my husbands life, but HE is my life, if I’m patterning my relationships and responsibilities after Proverbs 31. Often a newly wed homemaker is glad to make her husband number one until that first baby arrives, and then suddenly her priorities have shifted. Now all her time and energies are devoted to that little bundle, and shell squeeze her husband in if she has the time. That man who was enjoying the beginnings a fulfilled married life as one flesh with the girl of his dreams is left to fend for himself. He may feel lonely and maybe even rejected.
I’m not saying that we ought to be any less dedicated to raising our children and loving them. I am saying that we need to keep a proper perspective of our purpose and our responsibilities in the order that God gave them. If we look at the family from a Bible perspective we’ll see that first God gave man a wife, and she was able to be a helpmeet to him in all that God gave him to do. Then God gave them children and said to the fathers, “…bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
My first responsibility is to be a help to my husband in all that God commanded him to do, and one of the major areas of responsibility for both to fulfill together is that of bringing up our children and teaching them to love and serve the Lord.
The idea of being a helpmeet is a challenging one, to be sure. I was thinking about this the other day and I realized that God not only commands me to help my husband do what God wants him to do, but I also have the opportunity to help him be what God wants him to be. God tells man to “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.” That is one of the very important responsibilities God has given to believers. I’m to be his helpmeet.
First of all, I can be a soul winner myself and take advantage of every opportunity that i have to witness. I can also remove obstacles and take care of things that would monopolize his time and keep him from being as effective as a soul winner. Our relationship might very well help him to see others with more compassion and discernment. In many ways, I can help.
God wants him to be faithful and obedient. It’s my job, as a helpmeet, to encourage him and support him in following God’s will for his life. A wife who opposes her husband in doing the will of God is signing her own death note. Think with me for a moment.
The kind of husband you want and need is wrapped up in his obedience to God. It is God who commanded him to love his wife with the same kind of sacrificial, supernatural love wherewith Christ loved the Church. It is God who makes this kind of infinite, immortal love possible in the heart of man. The The very thing she’s after when she makes him choose between pleasing God or pleasing her is the one thing that she will never receive from a husband who is disobedient to God’s will.
On the flip side, when I decide to be a help meet to my husband, i’ll have the kind of close, satisfying relationship with him that my heart longs for. In helping him do what god wants him to do, I’ll be building the kind of friendship, trust, and oneness that will carry us through all the ups and downs to come in the future. We’ll become much closer in working with one another than we can ever become if all we ever do together falls into the category of ‘recreation’.
At the same time, I’ll earn the privilege of being a helpmeet in helping my husband be what God wants him to be—and two of the areas included in that is to be a good husband and a good father. Now I’m heading toward the same desired result, but this is time in something I can pursue with a right motive and except God’s blessing.
In any area of life, Gods’s ideal plan is ideal for everyone. For me to be a godly wife and helpmeet, putting my husband and his needs first, is what’s best and happiest for me as well as everyone else who is involved. Certainly, my goal for life, for each day, and for each situation should be the same one that our Proverbs 31 lady demonstrates: to do him good and not evil all the days of my life.
Wife of Evangelist Dennis Corle