Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
What if there were four simple times you could add to your schedule that would protect your marriage and keep it healthy? Would you give it a try?
1 Corinthians 15:33 “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. When you can’t communicate, your relationship will deteriorate. The couple that doesn’t talk will at best be roommates and at worst separate. If you do not schedule a time together, you will grow apart; therefore, it is imperative that you protect your marriage by maintaining your ability to talk. Keep the lines of communication open. Together, you can work through any problem, overcome any obstacle, and defeat any foe.
1. Have A Daily Time To TALK.
Life happens fast. Every day brings new challenges and opportunities. A couple needs a daily time to talk through the details of the day, confirm their love, address challenges, and remain on the same page.
Also, this practice protects the other times you are together. If you know that you have a time set aside to talk, you can keep the rest of the day loving and sweet. No more being bombarded with problems when you walk in the door! It’s back to greeting one another with a hug and kiss. Who wouldn’t want that!?
When is the best time to plan this talk? Every family will be a bit different, but there are 2 times that seem to work best for most.
1. At The Start of the Day.
Connect at the beginning of the day if at all possible. Eat a bite of breakfast, drink a cup of coffee, and chat about the day. Since husbands and wives typically have different schedules, this means someone will be getting up earlier than needed to make it happen. It’s worth it.
2. After Dinner
Hopefully, you eat family dinner together. If not, I recommend you begin immediately. The benefits are far too numerous to list in this short format. Set aside 15-20 minutes after dinner to talk. No electronics or tv. Just look at each other in the eyes and talk. I know it sounds radical, but you can do it! Talk about your day. Listen to your love with interest. Empty your hearts of cares. Lean on one another in love. Brainstorm problems and come to solutions together. Express your love to one another.
2. A Nightly Time to Pray.
Of course, you should have your own walk with God reading the Bible and praying daily. If you are filled with the Spirit, you will be a much better person and spouse. If you are blessed with a Christian spouse, it is imperative that you pray together each day. This could be after your daily talk or at bedtime. Either way, pray together.
What a shame if you share a bed, but don’t share your heart! There is a closeness in group prayer that can come no other way. Also, it is comforting to hear your spouse talk to God. Don’t neglect the amazing privilege to pray together. A happy marriage is one of life’s greatest blessings.
3. A Weekly Time To DATE.
Schedule a weekly date time. Make the time. Get a babysitter. Spend the money. It’s cheaper than alimony. You either live life or life will live you. Life is like a river that will sweep you up in its current and take you where you don’t want to go. If you don’t schedule time together, you will grow apart. Mark it down. (For some of you, it has already happened.)
Every husband needs to make date night a priority. Your wife will love you for it. Put the phone away. Look in each other’s eyes and be in the moment. I know you are busy. The harder it is to make time for date night the more you need it. Stop making excuses. Put the date and time as a recurring event on your calendar. Plan them a month at a time. They don’t need to be expensive or extravagant, but neither should they be an afterthought. Date night will protect your marriage.
4. A Monthly Time To SERVE.
I will assume for the sake of this article that you go to church together. Nothing will take the place of sitting in church together worshipping God and learning His Word. Prioritize church in a place of preeminence. Church attendance is only the beginning. The Bible is clear that each Christian should be involved in ministry.
There is something you can do through your local church using your gifts for the glory of God and the good of others. Husbands and wives will have times when they serve God apart. Perhaps he is an usher and she is in the nursery. But don’t settle for always serving separately. I’m a big believer in serving God as a family. God blesses service. The family that serves God together with a happy heart is blessed. Service keeps the focus on God, the heart humble, and the family unified.
Even the busiest families can plan one time per month to serve. Certainly, more often is better. Yet, once a month should be a minimum. Young couples should take the kids. Teens should be involved too. Soul winning, soup kitchen, bus ministry, or the nursing home are great places to start. There are many possibilities. Choose a ministry, set a date, and get started.
Notice the title of this article. 4 Scheduled Times…
Most readers will agree that these are good practices that should be done, yet they don’t do them. Why? They are not baked into their habits of life. The real power takes hold when you schedule these activities. Write them down. Choose the best times. Put them in your calendar and get started. Many people say their marriage is important while their actions spoil it. Decide to carve these times in stone and watch your marriage blossom.
Paul Chapman | Pastor
Curtis Corner Baptist Church | Wakefield, RI.